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I love you, long time <3
Jul. 6th, 2009 | 08:59 pm
mood: 
bouncy
Hello world.
Today is youth day that means no school for us! Hahahha. Though it's just one day, we should be glad we can take a break from school right? Chinese O's is nearing, and you can't imagine how scared I am when i don't even show it out. Inside I know it's damn scary and will kinda determine where I stand for this subject and whether or not it will help me clear one subject away, but I just stand by and do nothing at all. As if it ain't iimportant to me, AT ALL. God, I hate myself for this. I just realised how school is so boring, and how people can just concentrate unlike me. I think I have not enough sleep okay. Like keep on dozing off in class, that's bad, really super bad. Argh.
Woke up so late today, and B called me so many times but I guess I was damn sleeping like a log. Bad me! I guess I was really tired. He was at my house bus stop already. And he waited for like 1 hour plus. Omg, I feel so bad. So I rushed to bathe and walked down to meet him. We planned to go over his house, and spend the day. Hehe, watched shark tales while he did the laundry and everything. After that went to the supermarket and he cooked spagetti for me! So sweet right? He even fed me. Hmm, about 5plus, 6 I cabbed home. It's so short the time we spend together. Wish it can last, I really want him by my side each time, each day. Sigh. We being through so much, I'm really sorry. I really don't want any of the horrible stuffs happening anymore. All me, all me, my stupid brain thinking thoughts. I ought to stab myself hard for this fault.
I love you, B. I really do, I'm sorry for everything. I really am. I really hope that would be our last fight, I don't want anymore of those unhappy stuff. It hurts both of us so deeply. I don't want you to get hurt, ever.
Lyn luvs B<3
Today is youth day that means no school for us! Hahahha. Though it's just one day, we should be glad we can take a break from school right? Chinese O's is nearing, and you can't imagine how scared I am when i don't even show it out. Inside I know it's damn scary and will kinda determine where I stand for this subject and whether or not it will help me clear one subject away, but I just stand by and do nothing at all. As if it ain't iimportant to me, AT ALL. God, I hate myself for this. I just realised how school is so boring, and how people can just concentrate unlike me. I think I have not enough sleep okay. Like keep on dozing off in class, that's bad, really super bad. Argh.
Woke up so late today, and B called me so many times but I guess I was damn sleeping like a log. Bad me! I guess I was really tired. He was at my house bus stop already. And he waited for like 1 hour plus. Omg, I feel so bad. So I rushed to bathe and walked down to meet him. We planned to go over his house, and spend the day. Hehe, watched shark tales while he did the laundry and everything. After that went to the supermarket and he cooked spagetti for me! So sweet right? He even fed me. Hmm, about 5plus, 6 I cabbed home. It's so short the time we spend together. Wish it can last, I really want him by my side each time, each day. Sigh. We being through so much, I'm really sorry. I really don't want any of the horrible stuffs happening anymore. All me, all me, my stupid brain thinking thoughts. I ought to stab myself hard for this fault.
I love you, B. I really do, I'm sorry for everything. I really am. I really hope that would be our last fight, I don't want anymore of those unhappy stuff. It hurts both of us so deeply. I don't want you to get hurt, ever.
Lyn luvs B<3
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I don't like my life
Jun. 30th, 2009 | 06:36 pm
mood: 
sad
music: Overrated - Ashley Tisdale
They can take tomorrow the past remains
They can take the music that we never played
All the broken dreams take everything
Just take it away but they can never have yesterday
They can take the future that we will never know
They can take the places that we said we would go
All the broken dreams take everthing
Just take it away but they can never have yesterday
Well hello. School's back pretty people. Of course, the h1n1 issue has affected like everyone. My school especially, has been much careful and once I step into school, teachers have been asking us questions. Really, I was not happy going back to school. So not okay. God how I wish, I could have gotten the 7 days holiday. I rather stay at home then going to school, seriously. So much happenings at school, friends teachers, homework. God, I bet, I'm gonna break down soon. And the most important, you.
My homework, I barely touch them. Okay so now that's another crap I have to do. And the teacher's are freaking stressing us out with tons of homework. Each subject need to do thousands of question. On monday, which was yesterday, I realised I hate myself for making stupid mistakes in the past. Now I lost it. And I'm not happy with everything now. I gotta hand up lit tomorrow, and I have not even start. How great. English another one. Argh, I need to buy the book tomorrow, hope I remember. I slept during biology yesterday. I was like super tired to the max please. I had no choice. Somemore, she was talking about mid year's paper. Pe made me tired hell. I detest pe and not looking forward to it unlike many others. I hate it! She gave us suicide runs. Pumping, was like adding to the fucking tiredness. Please, can you imagine how much I hate school. And you'll faint once you hear how much homework I have for like each subject.
I want to be quarantine! I know it's wrong to think this way but I just don't like school! Something happened on monday that got me really upset and pissed as well. I don't wanna like sterotype anyone but! Omg, it just turns me off.
Chinese oral on the 13th july. I gotta read more chinese and practise speaking them. When Mrs D talked about it, I really thought hard that I'm gonna do well and aim at least a B3. Of course, an A1 would be great. Haha.
Today, I was fucking tired, like worse. Almost every lesson I was sleeping okay. I don't wanna talk about today. I have no mood actually. I was sleeping on the table and paper balls keep hitting my head. Argh that anger --. Forget it.
I don't wanna believe we're apart now. You know we being apart is near impossible. But we are. We love each other so much yet we have to do this, be like this. I cried yesterday a lot, so much. Hugging bb so hard. I miss you.
Lyn sad.
They can take the music that we never played
All the broken dreams take everything
Just take it away but they can never have yesterday
They can take the future that we will never know
They can take the places that we said we would go
All the broken dreams take everthing
Just take it away but they can never have yesterday
Well hello. School's back pretty people. Of course, the h1n1 issue has affected like everyone. My school especially, has been much careful and once I step into school, teachers have been asking us questions. Really, I was not happy going back to school. So not okay. God how I wish, I could have gotten the 7 days holiday. I rather stay at home then going to school, seriously. So much happenings at school, friends teachers, homework. God, I bet, I'm gonna break down soon. And the most important, you.
My homework, I barely touch them. Okay so now that's another crap I have to do. And the teacher's are freaking stressing us out with tons of homework. Each subject need to do thousands of question. On monday, which was yesterday, I realised I hate myself for making stupid mistakes in the past. Now I lost it. And I'm not happy with everything now. I gotta hand up lit tomorrow, and I have not even start. How great. English another one. Argh, I need to buy the book tomorrow, hope I remember. I slept during biology yesterday. I was like super tired to the max please. I had no choice. Somemore, she was talking about mid year's paper. Pe made me tired hell. I detest pe and not looking forward to it unlike many others. I hate it! She gave us suicide runs. Pumping, was like adding to the fucking tiredness. Please, can you imagine how much I hate school. And you'll faint once you hear how much homework I have for like each subject.
I want to be quarantine! I know it's wrong to think this way but I just don't like school! Something happened on monday that got me really upset and pissed as well. I don't wanna like sterotype anyone but! Omg, it just turns me off.
Chinese oral on the 13th july. I gotta read more chinese and practise speaking them. When Mrs D talked about it, I really thought hard that I'm gonna do well and aim at least a B3. Of course, an A1 would be great. Haha.
Today, I was fucking tired, like worse. Almost every lesson I was sleeping okay. I don't wanna talk about today. I have no mood actually. I was sleeping on the table and paper balls keep hitting my head. Argh that anger --. Forget it.
I don't wanna believe we're apart now. You know we being apart is near impossible. But we are. We love each other so much yet we have to do this, be like this. I cried yesterday a lot, so much. Hugging bb so hard. I miss you.
Lyn sad.
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When we have done, everything together as one heart
Jun. 28th, 2009 | 12:40 am
music: I Stay In Love - Mariah Carey
I have no faith, to bring the truth alive to what it is
Don't treat me like this. We know we still love each other. It's hurting real deep inside. The truth the real situation is not what you thought it'll be. I wondered if I was really strong outside, I thought I was too but I ain't. I really ain't. I'm just a typical plain jane with fragile feelings, and a broken heart, waiting to be mended. Maybe clinging on, doesn't show positive things, but I wish everything wasn't like what it seem. But why, my heart tells me this is the end of everything. No it can't be. All I put in, can't be just vanished in dust. I long for you, for your heart here within me. I have always thought letting go was easy, I always think I could. But then, it's not what I imagined it to be. Letting go, is harder then anything. The love you have to put down. The memories haunting your soul. Everyday you dream of the one you truely love and regret the decision. Words don't seem to matter anymore. You can tell yourself, you don't care, you don't bother. However, on the inside you feel uneasy. Like there's a part of you missing, you know what it is. Why must the happy moments stop? Can't it just pause, and let it last? Must life be this difficult? I'm just deceiving myself if I say I could let you go. Never I wanted to do that. I'm broken inside, that way we talk is so cold. We ain't like this. We just got together. We were happy ain't we? Why must you take everything back? Why must you? Who said, you can take away my happiness? Sigh, tearing seems like the only way.
Please don't, I'm sorry.
Lyn
Don't treat me like this. We know we still love each other. It's hurting real deep inside. The truth the real situation is not what you thought it'll be. I wondered if I was really strong outside, I thought I was too but I ain't. I really ain't. I'm just a typical plain jane with fragile feelings, and a broken heart, waiting to be mended. Maybe clinging on, doesn't show positive things, but I wish everything wasn't like what it seem. But why, my heart tells me this is the end of everything. No it can't be. All I put in, can't be just vanished in dust. I long for you, for your heart here within me. I have always thought letting go was easy, I always think I could. But then, it's not what I imagined it to be. Letting go, is harder then anything. The love you have to put down. The memories haunting your soul. Everyday you dream of the one you truely love and regret the decision. Words don't seem to matter anymore. You can tell yourself, you don't care, you don't bother. However, on the inside you feel uneasy. Like there's a part of you missing, you know what it is. Why must the happy moments stop? Can't it just pause, and let it last? Must life be this difficult? I'm just deceiving myself if I say I could let you go. Never I wanted to do that. I'm broken inside, that way we talk is so cold. We ain't like this. We just got together. We were happy ain't we? Why must you take everything back? Why must you? Who said, you can take away my happiness? Sigh, tearing seems like the only way.
Please don't, I'm sorry.
Lyn
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yay love
Jun. 23rd, 2009 | 07:44 pm
At least, we're back together, through those days of torture. 3 weeks didn't see you and today finally I did. Really sorry for everything. I know mostly, it's my fault. Sorry.
Went to baby's house today. It's like damn far! And, imagine him coming to meet me all the time, feels so guilty. So far so far. I thought it'll be kinda weird for us to see other again. I mean like, it's been so long and so many things happen. Terrible, unhappy, upseting things. But everything falls nicely back into place. Well that's a relief for me. Watched Ice Aged 2, I didn't even watch the 1 but in any case, it's nice. After that watch The Handsome Suit. Haha the show's really cute i tell you. Damn. Time spent with baby is so short. I guess, at least I get to see him right? I'm really glad everything is back, back to where is was.
Love you<3
Lyn
Went to baby's house today. It's like damn far! And, imagine him coming to meet me all the time, feels so guilty. So far so far. I thought it'll be kinda weird for us to see other again. I mean like, it's been so long and so many things happen. Terrible, unhappy, upseting things. But everything falls nicely back into place. Well that's a relief for me. Watched Ice Aged 2, I didn't even watch the 1 but in any case, it's nice. After that watch The Handsome Suit. Haha the show's really cute i tell you. Damn. Time spent with baby is so short. I guess, at least I get to see him right? I'm really glad everything is back, back to where is was.
Love you<3
Lyn
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happy b-day dearest :D
May. 31st, 2009 | 03:15 am
mood: 
crazy
Happy birthday beloved <3
I love ya baby. Even though we keep on quarrelling and stuff, we still love each other deeply. I hoped friday was really a great day for ya. You were happy right right? And my birthday song to you, touched ya. Hehe yay :D
Skipped school on friday to celebrate baby's birthday. Like on advance. Well, school's a bore. I wonder how I'm gonna get my report book signed this term. Like crap shit please. Damn. Well woke up around 8 and waited for the school to call me. Then dozed off, and like finally the school's call woke me up? Kinda. Reached amk hub and then I gave baby a card lor. I told him cannot read de, must go home then read but he so eager. Hehe. I went to turn turn the thing again. Don't know what's that called. So got two balls of stamp? Haha. We watched Aliens Vs Monsters 3D yay. It was nice. But what was the nicest is that, baby is with me. Yay love. Headed to the zoo after that. It was like crowded with massive people. Okay like kids. Damn it i tell you. Hmm, watched two animal shows and walked and walked. Ate Ben and Jerry's and waited so long for just one ice cream cause there's this lady who like ordered 13 or 14 cups of ice cream and don't even bother to let me go first when she saw me there waiting to like fucking order. I was kinda irritated. I must spell it out then they let me. Lame shit. The weather's like bloody hot. After the second show we walked to, the kids playground there. Sat in kfc for fun then went off LOL. Okay that's stupid well. Roamed around walk here and there. Saw alot of me inside there. And butterflies. EW. I so hate flying things around. They better not get close to me if not they are gonna get deaf hahahah. Saw this saw that! That's kinda everything. Mosquito's sure love my blood, got a bite from them. Itchy! Well, overall I kinda think going to the zoo makes me feel like going overseas. Cause like v different mah. When go zoo, a different feeling, especially with baby. I was really very happy throughout the whole time. Time sure passes so fast, end of the day. Got back to amk hub ad ate pepper lunch again! Haha i think the food is damn nice. Baby send me home after that, we walked home. Yay but then something awkward happened. Well anyways. I guess I was feeling so restless til I don't know what I was doing and why I was even walking in a zig zag way. I feel retarded. I can't control, just feel like falling and not moving anymore but I have to.
Today bro birthday. Don't wanna say anything!
Okay, bye.
I love you, i love you to bits.
Lyn
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(no subject)
May. 26th, 2009 | 11:54 pm
Give me one reason why I should care? Do anyone understands the hurt I've been through? Guess not. I don't wanna give a damn anymore. A shit out of this crap. Bye.
Maybe it's just coming to an end.
Lyn
Maybe it's just coming to an end.
Lyn
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Fuck this feeling
May. 26th, 2009 | 07:18 pm
I will never ever forget the ugly past. NEVER EVER.
Lyn
Lyn
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I do, I really
May. 22nd, 2009 | 09:42 pm
mood: 
lethargic
Hello world.
I hate myself for misplacing things over and over again. I so super hate it. Just now I was trying to find my things again, I couldn't. That got me so frustrated to the max. I think my room is in a havoc now. Haha okay that's just sarcasm shit. Well anyway, I really gonna get my things organised after o's. Cause now not really have the time to do all of that.
Went to tb for dinner. I don't like going there, I don't really know why but I just don't. Send my aunt home so had to eat there for some reason -.- I was like kinda no mood kind after dozing off in the car and waking up. Totally, no appetite. But still, had to eat. I don't want to provoke my dad any further also. Apart from giving in to my brother, I have to give in to him too. Respect respect. Like they bullshitting respect me? SO NOT. Don't even set a good example and expect us to follow. Compare their results from the past to mine now somemore. You can't believe the anger I'm holding in me now. How can they be so fucking unreasonable? Tell me. What the fuck la. Angry. When I was about to finish my food, this auntie collecting cans, came to interupt my lovely dinner. 2 times somemore. I tell you, I hate hate it when those desperate aunties want the can and everything. I would never give them. You want something so bad, I'll not give it to you. Annoying pest. But she came two times, so my mom gave it to her. Cheebye la, interupt my dinner.
I just realised tomorrow I'm going to the esplanade! Yay, so long didn't go there already. To watch a muscial or some sort that is. I'm going tomorrow. I'm happy. Hehe.
I guess you're gone? I don't know where are you. Sigh.
Lyn
I hate myself for misplacing things over and over again. I so super hate it. Just now I was trying to find my things again, I couldn't. That got me so frustrated to the max. I think my room is in a havoc now. Haha okay that's just sarcasm shit. Well anyway, I really gonna get my things organised after o's. Cause now not really have the time to do all of that.
Went to tb for dinner. I don't like going there, I don't really know why but I just don't. Send my aunt home so had to eat there for some reason -.- I was like kinda no mood kind after dozing off in the car and waking up. Totally, no appetite. But still, had to eat. I don't want to provoke my dad any further also. Apart from giving in to my brother, I have to give in to him too. Respect respect. Like they bullshitting respect me? SO NOT. Don't even set a good example and expect us to follow. Compare their results from the past to mine now somemore. You can't believe the anger I'm holding in me now. How can they be so fucking unreasonable? Tell me. What the fuck la. Angry. When I was about to finish my food, this auntie collecting cans, came to interupt my lovely dinner. 2 times somemore. I tell you, I hate hate it when those desperate aunties want the can and everything. I would never give them. You want something so bad, I'll not give it to you. Annoying pest. But she came two times, so my mom gave it to her. Cheebye la, interupt my dinner.
I just realised tomorrow I'm going to the esplanade! Yay, so long didn't go there already. To watch a muscial or some sort that is. I'm going tomorrow. I'm happy. Hehe.
I guess you're gone? I don't know where are you. Sigh.
Lyn
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Just tell me, everything
May. 21st, 2009 | 09:32 pm
mood: chipper
This week screwed, seriously, even single one of us. That is my class. Our results was like shit hell. And the teachers were like sort of complaining about how bad our batch did, and our batch was the worse among the past year students result. And hello? 21st Century? Everything changed. Everything got harder. Come on, our school's standard is like damn high somemore. But then crap, my results so totally worse and everything. Wonder how I'm gonna show it to my parents. Just drop dead, tell me about it.
Kinda glad we talked. Haha but I hate all these hiding and going out kind. So many barriers, yes I know. But argh, I wished I can go about to being with you all. I'm so darn frustrated with the _ i'm with now. It just somehow can't fit in with my this type of personality you know. It just can't. I really don't understand the concept of everytime I go together with a group, one person have to make me dislike/hate her. It's like I so don't want it that type of thing. I wanna get along well with you, but i just can't. I can't stand a friend who critisizes me not just once, but over and over again. Accusing me that is. Just what's wrong with you? God. Have a brain, before hurting others. And even if your friend wants to tell you something that would hurt you, I believe she would not go to that extend of using insulting words to pass the message to you. I have fucking feelings man, why can't anyone like understand this. Such a moronic society and people.
Apart from getting back my results and being demoralised, we did chinese mock exam. Like paper one and two. It was quite useful to me, especially today's one. I felt it was productive, it was useful for me. The fucking hell motivation talk was like of no use? Except that part when we played games, and I laughed like shit. Only that part I enjoy, none of the damn rest seriously.
Watched Night At The Museum 2 today. The day when it first came out. Hahhaa went to watch it already. Cool right. The show was kinda okay. Fucking pack though. Obviously. Watched with H. Hehe, I missed him. Wish I could see him longer. Well.
I wanna study, I'm swear I'm gonna. This is the promise I will make to myself and keep it. I don't care.
Lyn
Kinda glad we talked. Haha but I hate all these hiding and going out kind. So many barriers, yes I know. But argh, I wished I can go about to being with you all. I'm so darn frustrated with the _ i'm with now. It just somehow can't fit in with my this type of personality you know. It just can't. I really don't understand the concept of everytime I go together with a group, one person have to make me dislike/hate her. It's like I so don't want it that type of thing. I wanna get along well with you, but i just can't. I can't stand a friend who critisizes me not just once, but over and over again. Accusing me that is. Just what's wrong with you? God. Have a brain, before hurting others. And even if your friend wants to tell you something that would hurt you, I believe she would not go to that extend of using insulting words to pass the message to you. I have fucking feelings man, why can't anyone like understand this. Such a moronic society and people.
Apart from getting back my results and being demoralised, we did chinese mock exam. Like paper one and two. It was quite useful to me, especially today's one. I felt it was productive, it was useful for me. The fucking hell motivation talk was like of no use? Except that part when we played games, and I laughed like shit. Only that part I enjoy, none of the damn rest seriously.
Watched Night At The Museum 2 today. The day when it first came out. Hahhaa went to watch it already. Cool right. The show was kinda okay. Fucking pack though. Obviously. Watched with H. Hehe, I missed him. Wish I could see him longer. Well.
I wanna study, I'm swear I'm gonna. This is the promise I will make to myself and keep it. I don't care.
Lyn
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Screw everything
May. 17th, 2009 | 06:31 pm
mood: 
pissed off
FUCK YOU. FUCK THIS LIFE. FUCK EVERYTHING.
I WANT TO CHEEBYE REPORT YOU TO POLICE FOR ABUSE.
CHEEBYE CHEE BYE LA.
I wanna runaway, any shelter?
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whatever la
May. 13th, 2009 | 06:03 pm
Which part of mind your own business do you not understand. Like I fucking owe you a life. Get a life bitch.
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Just kill me
May. 12th, 2009 | 07:37 pm
mood: amused
music: I Stay In Love - Mariah Carey
I guess lately, many things happened. And I really don't want it to. I guess it was like, a few days back, I received a grave news. Didn't imagine it to happen to me at this point of time. I thought the damn crisis was completely over. Like, parents coming back in relief, that they weren't being sacked. Reality, is such a cruel thing, the society too. Sigh, I just have to face this situation independently. I'm soft inside, I guess every girl is. No matter how much you perceive yourself outside, there will always be something that would hit you back to your soft side. This happened during Mids, I totally lost my concentrating on studies just because of that. Everytime I see him, everytime I see how this cruel society is, I'll tear inside. How can someone be so cruel? Just take it all away from him, just. Now he have nothing left. I know he's upset on the inside, he just don't want us to worry. But I know it. I know everything. It hurts, really.
I want to study, I want to score well but how come when that moment of hardworking comes, I never put in any effort into doing it well? Please tell me why. I do want to know the reason of me being lazy, not studying like I could. All teachers say the same thing, ' You can study, but you're just lazy.' Kill this guilt conscience. I'm so weak in those stupid subjects, those memorising type, remembering all those details kinda shit. But you know what? I'm someone who can memorise but only for a short period of time. And if I memorise a bunch of things, I'll get them mixed up. Stupid stupid. Argh, I want to study okay. I think studying is interesting. Hehe.
We keep fighting nowadays, why is this so? I don't know I really don't. You say I don't care but I do, so much. You really can't feel it right? You can't feel the care or what. Past few days we are like on the verge of breaking. Sigh, I was really upset. Really was. But I guess things came to the right track again. That make me relief, make me happy. I don't wish much, I just want to be happy with you. Love ya, luv.
Like seriously, I gotta stop trusting people too easily, it just hits me back. I can't believe I trusted you so much, and believed you. But the truth wasn't that way. You made me go against a friend. When I saw those pictures, I kinda already started to feel that you're not what I think you are. The real truth, was not that way. And I helped you, and I believed he was wrong, he was too against you. Everything. Shit the guilt is killing me. It was because of one fucking shit. The truth you denied so hard for. Can't you just admit it from the first place? I still remembered you said this to me - ' He got see my pictures meh? Say I girl. ' Something like that, quoting not exact. Kinda nice friend you have, telling us your true identity which you hide it for such a long time. Her fingers are too eager to tell us the truth isit? Ha, or rather she helped you say something you wouldn't or didn't dare too. Honestly, when I got to know the truth, I wasn't that gross out. Cause it's not an abnormal thing for me. My school, my friends, my classmates all among them, there would be always one. But slowly, slowly, I felt disgusted. Like on how our relationship was like. You deceived me. Do you feel it? Don't think you do. Now I know the reason why you wouldn't meet. And solely, met one person only. And please friends of yours who read my lj, don't come telling me this and that of what I shouldn't post or what I should. All in all it's my lj. Mine. I can type whatever I want to it. Thanks.
I believed I found your true colours. Thanks for enlightening me.
I no longer have the power to convince, to persuade or to comfort you anymore
Lyn
I want to study, I want to score well but how come when that moment of hardworking comes, I never put in any effort into doing it well? Please tell me why. I do want to know the reason of me being lazy, not studying like I could. All teachers say the same thing, ' You can study, but you're just lazy.' Kill this guilt conscience. I'm so weak in those stupid subjects, those memorising type, remembering all those details kinda shit. But you know what? I'm someone who can memorise but only for a short period of time. And if I memorise a bunch of things, I'll get them mixed up. Stupid stupid. Argh, I want to study okay. I think studying is interesting. Hehe.
We keep fighting nowadays, why is this so? I don't know I really don't. You say I don't care but I do, so much. You really can't feel it right? You can't feel the care or what. Past few days we are like on the verge of breaking. Sigh, I was really upset. Really was. But I guess things came to the right track again. That make me relief, make me happy. I don't wish much, I just want to be happy with you. Love ya, luv.
Like seriously, I gotta stop trusting people too easily, it just hits me back. I can't believe I trusted you so much, and believed you. But the truth wasn't that way. You made me go against a friend. When I saw those pictures, I kinda already started to feel that you're not what I think you are. The real truth, was not that way. And I helped you, and I believed he was wrong, he was too against you. Everything. Shit the guilt is killing me. It was because of one fucking shit. The truth you denied so hard for. Can't you just admit it from the first place? I still remembered you said this to me - ' He got see my pictures meh? Say I girl. ' Something like that, quoting not exact. Kinda nice friend you have, telling us your true identity which you hide it for such a long time. Her fingers are too eager to tell us the truth isit? Ha, or rather she helped you say something you wouldn't or didn't dare too. Honestly, when I got to know the truth, I wasn't that gross out. Cause it's not an abnormal thing for me. My school, my friends, my classmates all among them, there would be always one. But slowly, slowly, I felt disgusted. Like on how our relationship was like. You deceived me. Do you feel it? Don't think you do. Now I know the reason why you wouldn't meet. And solely, met one person only. And please friends of yours who read my lj, don't come telling me this and that of what I shouldn't post or what I should. All in all it's my lj. Mine. I can type whatever I want to it. Thanks.
I believed I found your true colours. Thanks for enlightening me.
I no longer have the power to convince, to persuade or to comfort you anymore
Lyn
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A lot of things came clear to me
May. 2nd, 2009 | 07:12 pm
mood: cheerful
music: Touch My Hand - David Archuleta
Well firstly, I'm back to being friends with her. Haha thanks, you. I guess after all those quarrels with two of my best friends, which of one I tried to patch it up, make it, but it didn't. That got me way demoralised. I thought none of it would ever go back but you proved me wrong. I really really happy to the max you know? Thanks. Through this, I realised new friends can never ever ever replace old friends, no matter how much. And if someone was your true friend, no matter how many quarrels you went through with her, she'll forgive you and be your friend again. That's what I realised. Thanks for letting me know what kinda friend you are. Maybe it was my fault at first, but you'll have to understand isn't it. Whatever. Some friends are meant to be gone, some friends will always be there.
Yesterday was labour day, went out with H. Haha our 4th month? Well, it was really crowded that day. We watched The ramen girl in the morning. That show was like damn it hilarious shit. This girl who was from america came to japan and a series of events happened. Well it's like two person's with different languages at the tip of their mouth speaking to each other. How would they even understand anything the other party is trying to convey? It was really stupid and it's this part that makes the movie interesting and funny. All in all, it was kinda nice, especially with H by my side. Hehe. And the theatre only had about 11 people, which it makes it cooler then anything. Hm after this, I went to vivo with H, it was more crowded, filling with ants, strolling in. All the over place, instead of shops, I see heads here and there. Haha. Walked and walked, my feet was painful lor. Super. I wore a shoe type thing that is hard so it aches faster I guess. Bough necklace and H bought earrings for me, in surprise :x I guess, that's really sweet though I was kind surprised. 4th anni gift. Yay. Happy. After that watched another movie which sucked the hell out of me. I think it's some resmincing the past kinda show? It keeps going back in time, like a time machine which have no head nor tail, and I don't even understand the show at all. It's some love show. Whatever. Walked home with H, and was kinda hyper. I don't know why, I guess I was really happy then. Ate macs, and forced H to eat. Cause H didn't eat the whole day so I didn't care much, just wanted ya to eat. Sorry.
Exams nearing, which means O's is just road away. Screams. I hope it just goes away soon. So much stress. I can't stand it anymore. I hate study. I really do. I wanna go mad studying already. Like seriously. Gosh.
I love you, <3
Lyn
Yesterday was labour day, went out with H. Haha our 4th month? Well, it was really crowded that day. We watched The ramen girl in the morning. That show was like damn it hilarious shit. This girl who was from america came to japan and a series of events happened. Well it's like two person's with different languages at the tip of their mouth speaking to each other. How would they even understand anything the other party is trying to convey? It was really stupid and it's this part that makes the movie interesting and funny. All in all, it was kinda nice, especially with H by my side. Hehe. And the theatre only had about 11 people, which it makes it cooler then anything. Hm after this, I went to vivo with H, it was more crowded, filling with ants, strolling in. All the over place, instead of shops, I see heads here and there. Haha. Walked and walked, my feet was painful lor. Super. I wore a shoe type thing that is hard so it aches faster I guess. Bough necklace and H bought earrings for me, in surprise :x I guess, that's really sweet though I was kind surprised. 4th anni gift. Yay. Happy. After that watched another movie which sucked the hell out of me. I think it's some resmincing the past kinda show? It keeps going back in time, like a time machine which have no head nor tail, and I don't even understand the show at all. It's some love show. Whatever. Walked home with H, and was kinda hyper. I don't know why, I guess I was really happy then. Ate macs, and forced H to eat. Cause H didn't eat the whole day so I didn't care much, just wanted ya to eat. Sorry.
Exams nearing, which means O's is just road away. Screams. I hope it just goes away soon. So much stress. I can't stand it anymore. I hate study. I really do. I wanna go mad studying already. Like seriously. Gosh.
I love you, <3
Lyn
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Screwed oral
Apr. 24th, 2009 | 10:16 pm
Today had english and chinese paper 1. Both of the letter writing I screwed it like shit. I just totally crapped to the damn it max please. English was like okay but I'm scared my topic is too common like the thing I wrote about. Damn. Chinese I wrote the newspaper report which many also wrote about, I hope I wrote the contents correctly if not I can just drop dead. Next was english oral, didn't prepare much for it, so was really scared like hell. Then there was jacob and big flower as the examiners. Kinda can choose who you want as your examiner and like everyone run to the more lenient ones. I can't believe they actually did that, I mean it's an exam and they actually run. Well, I hope to get the 2nd teacher which was really nice, I heard? I guess. And she kept smiling when I had the conversation with her. Not that pressurized but still had some sort of scared feeling in me. When it was all over, I was super relieved. Maybe you won't think much of it but I do. Cause we actually talked after so long. It felt nice, it makes me miss you.
Rushed down to meet H, at least we managed to catch 17 again. It was kinda funny an nice. But wasn't really concentrating much. Was upset about stuff. Hm well overall, it was okay?
I miss you, today was short. Sigh.
Lyn
Rushed down to meet H, at least we managed to catch 17 again. It was kinda funny an nice. But wasn't really concentrating much. Was upset about stuff. Hm well overall, it was okay?
I miss you, today was short. Sigh.
Lyn
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Supposedly to be posted yesterday
Apr. 21st, 2009 | 07:50 pm
mood: hyper
music: Hoedown Throwdown - Miley Cyrus
Last week was horrible. Having two friday's consecutively is just hell. One day after another, whoa just hell. So many periods of biology and chemistry. Many stuffs inside my brain, like exploding already. How am I supposed to understand all the information I should have? Yes, damn it I'm super weak at science and what not. Anyway, thursday sucked like bitch. Napfa was worse, worser then hell I tell you. All the 5 items I think I fucking degraded much. This year's managing which to be first is totally, unorganised. Got us really tired out at the sit ups, which is the first station. It should be the last please. Gosh and as usual, my standing broad jump is the worse of all. Okay did a retest that section and passed. Kinda okay la expect for the part where I fell. I thought my arm was okay after the fall but seems like the next day everything starts to show. The pain, everything. My left arm was somewhat with something pricking though it, having intense pain that is. So I went home early to see a doctor and after that went somewhere to meet H and wait for him. Friday was awesome, really. Well every friday with you I enjoyed it a lot. And I know I will. But last friday, something happened. Shitness la. Why can't adults just understand the mind your own business word. Like come on, we're grown up. We're matured. Let us live our life. Cause I'm gonna live mine well so don't control me. One nagging person not enough, must tell another nagging person and all starts nagging. It's just so annoying don't you get it? Psst.
Saturday, I don't wanna elaborate things that happened in the morning nor in the afternoon but I'm gonna say things that happened at night. Seems like my grandfather wants to meet the family for dinner. And of course my father asked my aunt and his sister along too. We dined at Jumbo. Black pepper crab rocks to the max. Well I was really full that day. After dinner we walked around Clark Quay, there were like so many bars around and this bar is so unique. It's like designed like a clinic, the chairs are like wheelchairs, the waitresses and waiters dressed lik doctors and nurses and there was a chair on display for like those drip drop of your blood or whatever shit you call that. All in all, that bar is cool. That's it.
I changed phone! Hahhaha i love my new phone now. It's damn cool please. Yay?
I love you. I hope nothing goes wrong again. We won't be weird and everything no more. I want you by my side every second, everyday. Can that happen? I know both of us also wants that very much. Pray it'll come true faster. And a night with you by my side, how nice would it be? Sigh, can it just happen to us right now? I miss you so much now ):
Lyn
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Busy week
Apr. 15th, 2009 | 08:56 pm
mood: ecstatic
music: Whatever It Takes - Corbin Bleu
And I do
Shit la, why I so lazy. This damn habit never dies. If I not so lazy, my results won't be this bad. Everything would be so much better for me if not for this damn habit. I need to quit being lazy all the time man. It's wasting my time away. Seriously, when all my teachers say I can study I can study, just that I'm lazy. I feel guilty okay? I really don't know what can motivate me to do what I want to. Everytime, it seems music motivates me cause when I'm on the ipod, listening to songs, so many thoughts come into my mind. But I only can motivate for that point of time. Once it's over, it's totally useless already. Like damn it alright? I need to study, I seriously need too. Suddenly, I find science interesting. Haha okay, that's random. But ever since I studied for practical, I felt that way. Hm weird. Maybe I should change my direction of thinking to studying is fun. I really want to study, but how? Help.
I think a couple of nights before, I dreamt of you. I miss our friendship. 4 years of it. We going out, everything. I super miss it man. Times when you laughed so hard with me, cause my laugh was super contagious to you. Missed shopping with you, our taste were so alike. So many things I fucking miss, I type for a whole night also can't finish typing. We were so close, we even planned for our siblings' future. No matter how much I do, nothing will ever change. I just regret what I did last year. Regretted so much. Wanted to mend it back but I guess that bitch already brainwashed you enough to let you get this friendship back. Well, I guess that's the past. We won't be friends ever again unless a miracle come. And moreover, you're so much closer to that bitch now. That bitch who spoiled everything. Wonder how you live with her.
I miss you, stranger
Yesterday was so happy. First time I watched two movies kinda continuously in the cinema. Didn't even concentrate on the movie even. I miss yesterday so much. The time we spent, passed so fast so fast. I could sit there forever and never get up, just with you. Hm, I watched The Sniper, and Ai Dao Di (Love). Honestly, the sniper wasn't too bad. But the love movie, sucked like hell. Waste money wacthing only. Entice people to watch but end up the movie is like bitch. The movie no head no tail, suddenly one scene come out then after another the story ends. Haha what the fuck la. Not nice sia. I miss yesterday like so much now. Damn it, wish you can be by my side now, every second. Ah, sigh.
Okay, practical was okay? Didn't really study much. Just memorised here and there, revise through? Yeah that's about it. During the damn practical, the wind blew the boiling tube and it broke. Haha shit la, I'm always this careless. Well nevermind about that. The practical, somemore our first one was like kinda screwed up. I keep mixing up Lead and Iron, if I wrote Lead as Iron in the answer script, I gonna cry man. My science so poor already, the theory part if I seriously screw up my practical part too, I don't know how already. I die. Shit shit shit! And tmr got napfa, wlao my period here got napfa. What fuck! Unlucky sia, this week so sucks, all the events. Bleedy hell.
And I want change my phone as soon as possible. I think I changing next week. My one sucks now. Cause I have been dropping it like so many times, and I don't really give a damn. Haha. So I thin I gonna sell it away and get a new phone. Yay.
I miss you, love.
Lyn
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Luv you
Apr. 11th, 2009 | 01:07 pm
mood: cheerful
Yesterday woke up so damn early. Went to Changi Village to eat breakfast then cycle. Super tired please. So in the morning, the hawker centre was already crowded with so many aunties and uncles. My father friend's was like there already. I tell you, the food I buying the queue so damn long la. Waited like don't know how long. My brother keep asking me finish alr not. Irritating. Apparently, some woman bought 7 packets of noodles and caused the rest of the other people to wait. What the fuck. I dislike waiting. By the time I got my food and returned to the table, my parents had already finished their breakfast. So I was like the only one who have not even started a mouth. My father friends even gave apple to us? AHAHHA WTF? I think i already apple enough. Okay okay so after that, we went to rent bicycles, to cycle at Changi Park. You know I don't know how to cycle la, only the three wheel I know. Yes, just laugh. Whatever! Anyway, rented the two persons one which I rode with my father. I feel damn loser. Don't know how ride bicycle. Oh my god, die. I swear my butt was pain like fuck. The seat damn hard la. And for two times my slipper slipped off my feet onto the ground so I had to ask my father to stop. I screamed each time. I think my leg is like cramping now. Damn like suan? Rode for 2 hours. Non-stop. My hand also pain. Grab the handle so tightly. Rawr. And the mosquitos seem to like me so much. So many mosquito bites. Shit la, my leg damn itchy now. It was super hot that day and like only when riding down a slope got wind blow. Hmm, after that went to Changi airport for lunch. Checked out Terminal 3, like nothing special also. The food court kinda big. Unlike near my house one so small and no varieties. Shopped a little there. Then went home? Tired.
There was no tuition today. And I didn't know until I went to the centre and Ms T told me. What the fuck lor. Waste my time, I should have like woken up later. Didn't feel like waking up this morning. Was kinda tired. Went for breakfast at Macs, with my brother. The breakfast damn nice. I so long never eat fast food already. I'm healthy. HAHAHHA. Then went to supermaket. Of course I wasn't at the supermaket. LOL. I was upstairs shopping with mom. Don't know why she black face today. Annoying. Ask her thing also don't reply, only know how to give people black face. Okay lor after that I at home alr.
Glad everything's right again. I really miss you. It feels it has been so long since I last saw you. So long so long. Sigh I miss you so much. I wish i could see you now, have you by my side. But I guess I'll have to wait. Can't wait for the next time I see you. Hope everything turns out well from now on. We will last forever, with you staying by my side.
I love you.
Lyn
There was no tuition today. And I didn't know until I went to the centre and Ms T told me. What the fuck lor. Waste my time, I should have like woken up later. Didn't feel like waking up this morning. Was kinda tired. Went for breakfast at Macs, with my brother. The breakfast damn nice. I so long never eat fast food already. I'm healthy. HAHAHHA. Then went to supermaket. Of course I wasn't at the supermaket. LOL. I was upstairs shopping with mom. Don't know why she black face today. Annoying. Ask her thing also don't reply, only know how to give people black face. Okay lor after that I at home alr.
Glad everything's right again. I really miss you. It feels it has been so long since I last saw you. So long so long. Sigh I miss you so much. I wish i could see you now, have you by my side. But I guess I'll have to wait. Can't wait for the next time I see you. Hope everything turns out well from now on. We will last forever, with you staying by my side.
I love you.
Lyn
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Lalala I miss my honey ^^
Apr. 8th, 2009 | 04:04 pm
Hi Everyone ~
Honey is collecting her laptop now.
Hope everything is ok. Sigh.
Heard from her that this new hard disk is from overseas so alot progs cant read >.>
Kinda gay but i guess pray hard her games will still be working.
Ytd is a happy day although its short.
Well lets just pray hard. Lol.
WJ
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Subject idk? I LOVE HER
Apr. 4th, 2009 | 06:32 pm
location: On bed ~
mood: loved
music: My Baby's singing ~
Hi I am here to post on behalf of my cute gf.
Honestly idk what to post :x
Anyway my gf is happy with me and i am happy with her.
For more details, please ask her or me. Ty.
The end. Lol
I MISS YOU HONEY ><
WJ.
Honestly idk what to post :x
Anyway my gf is happy with me and i am happy with her.
For more details, please ask her or me. Ty.
The end. Lol
I MISS YOU HONEY ><
WJ.
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Been such a mess lately
Mar. 29th, 2009 | 01:36 am
location: On bed?!?!
mood: apathetic
music: Long Shot - Kelly Clarkson
This gonna be a short one, I'm damn lazy now. Things have been on the verge of breaking but everything is solved now. These few days have been going on so fast. I wanna meet H more often please. Argh. Spend more time together.
When the hurt wasn't enough
Okay sports day was a killer. Purposely woke up like later, and told Mom it started at 7.45, okay no reach there by 7.45. Haha whatever. At least a few damn minutes is enough to sleep more then usual. The scorching hot sun is making me die. I tell you. So reached there, didn't eat breakfast. My stomach was like making those noise all the way. I sat sideways towards the sun. So like half my body is facing the sun, haha so we said my half face body everything would be tan and the other not. That's like weird. Freaking bored during that meet. And I knew this year my house wouldn't win. See those deprived faces. Depends on who is the captain. Anyway I didn't get my milo. Oh my god, they cheat us. My milo, bleedy hell. Went there and they said there isn't any left. I saw the student leaders bring cups and cups of milos to the teachers then we students? Don't get a fuck. I bet my house is going down and down and down already. My cca already like that, what more. Psst. After that went out with J. Then I lazy elaborate.
Anyway, was talking to J, M, and J on thursday. We talked hell much. Gossiping about her and her. And I just realised that day, you were the cause of all my problems. You break up my friendships, all of them. I fight with my close friends and lost them because of you and you and you. When will you stop? Can't you just leave close friends alone? I wish you weren't in this school, wish I didn't met you, wish you didn't appear in my life. Everyone's a fake, including me. But everyone ain't backstabbers. Throughout 4 years in PL, this year the 5th, I'hv seen a lot of innocent yet backstabbing type of people. They are, seriously scary. Such a waste to lose good friends like you but you, don't cherish it. I really wonder, how people befriend you. How people make friends with you? Like, so no way type. Gross. You brainwash people and then make them believe. What the fuck? Loser la.
Everything's back, I'm happy, we're happy. Hope this last forever and forever and for eternity.
I love you, hun :>
Lyn
When the hurt wasn't enough
Okay sports day was a killer. Purposely woke up like later, and told Mom it started at 7.45, okay no reach there by 7.45. Haha whatever. At least a few damn minutes is enough to sleep more then usual. The scorching hot sun is making me die. I tell you. So reached there, didn't eat breakfast. My stomach was like making those noise all the way. I sat sideways towards the sun. So like half my body is facing the sun, haha so we said my half face body everything would be tan and the other not. That's like weird. Freaking bored during that meet. And I knew this year my house wouldn't win. See those deprived faces. Depends on who is the captain. Anyway I didn't get my milo. Oh my god, they cheat us. My milo, bleedy hell. Went there and they said there isn't any left. I saw the student leaders bring cups and cups of milos to the teachers then we students? Don't get a fuck. I bet my house is going down and down and down already. My cca already like that, what more. Psst. After that went out with J. Then I lazy elaborate.
Anyway, was talking to J, M, and J on thursday. We talked hell much. Gossiping about her and her. And I just realised that day, you were the cause of all my problems. You break up my friendships, all of them. I fight with my close friends and lost them because of you and you and you. When will you stop? Can't you just leave close friends alone? I wish you weren't in this school, wish I didn't met you, wish you didn't appear in my life. Everyone's a fake, including me. But everyone ain't backstabbers. Throughout 4 years in PL, this year the 5th, I'hv seen a lot of innocent yet backstabbing type of people. They are, seriously scary. Such a waste to lose good friends like you but you, don't cherish it. I really wonder, how people befriend you. How people make friends with you? Like, so no way type. Gross. You brainwash people and then make them believe. What the fuck? Loser la.
Everything's back, I'm happy, we're happy. Hope this last forever and forever and for eternity.
I love you, hun :>
Lyn